unwords, unthoughts, unreason, unrhyme & unpoetry
caterpillars, cocoons & butterfliesStars
sometimes boy, sometimes man
(mostly boy!)
object throwing
strictly forbidden!
RE paragraph 2 –
G-Star is properly confused
clear blue sky –
if you look hard enough
you will be able to see
another star up there for
me
what am i thinking?
(butterflies)
good question….
please could you repeat with a clue…
Yes!! Stars for me!!
Outrageous Flirtation
It really is gorgeous outside! I’ll come meet you for an ice-cream?! 5 mins?!
Yeah come on then, let’s!!
Will see you in 3 mins…
2mins…
30 seconds…
I’m here!!! And waiting…
<smiles> <friendship kiss on the cheek> Hi Jack, shall we go and get this ice cream then? (Are we in Paris or New York?)
<smiles back> <responds with friendship kiss on the cheek> Hello V, how lovely to see you, yes let’s go and I’ll get us some ice creams (in New York)
Great, at least Parisian eyes will not be upon us - since I don’t know New York very well, I will let you lead the way <looks up to Jack and smiles some more> (was that a typo or are you using my nickname already?!)
Was a typo – but I like the result, so V it is…<leisurely stroll along the canal side with ice creams in hand, sun shining> <’that’s a cute little number you’ve got on V’>
<ah you think? I think the neck’s a bit low so won’t stand so close to you since the giant sunflower you are might just be able to see stuff that shouldn’t be seen, I didn’t realise New York had canals I would never have thought, they’re much prettier than Parisian canals!!!> (Is this an all day thing or is it early lunch?)
There is a very nice canal through New York (it’s an early lunch that could potentially extend later into the afternoon….<with a smile “I do indeed V”>; Jack is thinking to himself ”Focus on the eyes, focus on the eyes!”
<Thanks for the ice-cream Jack, it took long enough to come, remind me next time to give you a time limit on any thing for which I may ask for <laughs cheekily>, so are you taking me for lunch as well - is this just the appetiser?> Valesha playfully nudges Jack’s face in the direction in which they are strolling so he doesn’t have to think about focussing on her eyes, as it’s making her nervous but she doesn’t want Jack to know that it’s making her nervous>
Nervous in a good way or a bad way? – Jack doesn’t want to appear pervy in any way. <Lunch? What a nice idea, let’s head to the canal side restaurant…..lunch is on me> Jack looks straight ahead with a wry smile, not wanting to make V feel nervous, nor let his eyes wonder where they shouldn’t…
In a good way – <so what kind of food do they do, have you been there before?> heading in the direction of Jack’s suggested eatery, they arrive at the restaurant and are seated at an amazing table and perusing the menu, sat opposite each other <well I’m obviously not refusing a free lunch but I’ll get the next one, how does that sound? > (are you driving?)
No, Jack hasn’t been there before; it’s a new experience for both of them. Jack’s not driving, and asks for the wine list…
Jack orders the most perfect rose wine…Valesha looks at Jack with a question, but the words are stuck in her head. Jack continues to chat obliviously…
Jack enjoys the rose wine and secretly ponders what Valesha is thinking…”What’s on your mind Valesha?” he asks…
…taking a large sip of the wine, Valesha looks over to Jack and asks, “Why are you not single Jack?”…
Jack smiles and responds, ‘if I was single Valesha, I wouldn’t be looking much further than across this table’…
Valesha nearly chokes on the wine…
Jack, waits for Valesha to compose herself, and then asks, “Why are you so shocked?”…
Valesha responds quietly and intently, “Do you realise how much I actually really like you, how could you let things go so far but not actually, really, go anywhere at all?”
Jack wishes that he hadn’t said anything at all as it probably hasn’t helped the situation. He holds back from using the clichéd phrase, “You always want what you can’t have” instead responding, honestly, “I didn’t realise. I thought it was some flirtatious mutual respect and that is wasn’t much more than that?”
Valesha replies, that’s what she meant by the double edged sword responses, Jack’s just done it again with the refrainment of the cliché, and explains that’s why she has never asked the questions because she just couldn’t be sure…this is why boys are poo, Valesha is sad and thinks she’s made the situation worse…
Jack is deeply sorry that Valesha is sad, and apologises to her for being misleading when he shouldn’t have been. He tells her that she hasn’t made the situation worse and that everything can be just as it was. He realises that in future he should keep such things to himself and not act upon them, no matter how tricky it is. He reiterates that he still really likes Valesha, and that he hopes their relationship will still be a good and friendly one as it was before their lunch, but that it must stay as that…
Jack wasn’t being misleading when his thoughts were in the right place…Valesha’s just a nutcase and blushes and says feel free to act on them because they won’t now be taken in the way that they were not meant, if that makes sense. See there you go again, “ but that it must stay as that…” why would it be anything different? Listen though honey, it’s home time you can’t stay there forever, hope you have a fantastic time in Mauritius, see you Tuesday for the consultation.
Valesha’s not a nutcase at all – far from it! It wouldn’t be anything different I know…Jack just said that just because…Jack apologises again and wishes Valesha a fantastic weekend – friendly kiss on the cheek goodbye.
Thx Miss A
Question
Hidden smiles and ice-creams Brain freeze and secret questions Words unstuck in my head Pausing. Unable to continue. Disguised as light humour. Ah, you’re teasing. Ask me one of the questions… What would happen if…? …I was to rise above your teasing tactics? Clearly, you would not be able As you enjoy being teased, I have a better question: What would happen if you and… Please complete the question, must have been a typo Love how you think its a typo I do apologise…. What would happen if you and your… There must be a problem with your keyboard, please finish off the question, many thanks Damn keyboard, What would happen if you and your self… If me and myself…? What ever the end of that it is It won’t make sense will it?! Of course it will make sense, it’s my question silly, You just can’t think far enough ahead Well help silly boy out then and stop teasing! What would happen if you and your self were… Me and my self were to…? Find. Find a / find out / finds something? You realise this could go on for a while I could make it the longest question in the universe, you would never get to the “?” What would happen if you and your self find yourself in a. You are allowed a maximum of 5 more words! “What would happen if you and your self find yourself in a” compromising / hole / cupboard / tricky situation / gay bar / campervan…? Just five…? No fair! Five words is more than fair What would happen if you and your self find yourself in a one two three four five You don’t even have a question do you? I do but I’m not telling you! Come on – just one question?! Please! How can you ask me that, you know very well what it might involve… No I don’t – ah you’re such a tease! I know honey but you can’t do anything about it…
Consultation
“An open mind,
Attitude and awareness,
Straightforward, honest chat.”
…from a boy?? Sorry, man.
That would be miraculous.
“I’m always straightforward.”
As straight as a broken arrow…
Rabbit Hole
Speeding, accelerating into oblivion,
I scream, and in the darkness
My voice is suffocating
And I can’t breathe,
The air is stifling
And the ferocious warmth
Dries my eyes,
Lids close tight shut.
He hollers for me after dusk,
Menacing, stock of mean tenderness,
Leans back and gives me control,
Closing his eyes, imagining.
Gripping me with vulnerability
And his concept of love
Which leaves me paralysed
And blind.
He smiles and I drown in sorrow
For all of the memories.
He promises to straighten out.
Persuasion for moving moments.
He promises heaven,
But delivers me daily hell.
He is not mine to suffer
The nightmares alone.
Wonder if he knows, now
My heart beats for only me.
*
He catches me on Mondays
Like a star, temporary and constant.
A new diamond, a new sky
Like a butterfly, trapped and free,
Flitting between pollen types
And numb telephone signals.
Hiding behind giant chairs,
Typing his speak to me.
He smiles and I drown in his eyes.
When he blinks, I breathe.
Specks of introspection,
Keeps his thoughts to himself.
Setting out boundaries
We want to break,
Keeping a distance
That keeps us apart.
In love with a boy,
Twenty metres away.
Lids, gently open.
Tears, wet my eyes.
And the succumbing heat
Brings me peace,
I’m breathing,
My voice is speaking,
Speeding, accelerating
Into the first day of,
The rest of my life.
Last Night
You’re a star.
Like a comet or one that stays in the sky forever?
One that stays in the sky forever?
It was a trick question;
Shooting star; fleeting; temporary;
Catch her like a butterfly.
Forever star; unobtainable, far;
Shines bright against cobalt clouds;
That makes for the sparkle.
Is this why women are complicated?
*
You had a question for me when we were in the car,
But then as usual you decided not to share.
True as my words, I remember the question,
But true to form, I won’t ask the question.
I can’t share with you.
Why are you not allowed to share?
I don’t remember there being any rules?
Rules are magic and appear only for you, apparently.
Secrets, secrets, secrets, frustrating.
Tease! What sweet would I get in return for a secret?
My lips are sealed.
Such a picture of innocence.
I’ll tell you in maybe ten hundred days.
Patience of a saint?
Please, please, pretty please?
You’ve proved me right by your wrongs
So many times, I know it’s not coming,
So there is no need for you to pretend.
If your words, were ever
An incentive to prove you wrong…
*
The rules were not broken,
No need to forgive you,
There’s nothing to forgive.
And that to-do list will stay
In the back of my mind.
*
It’s getting serious; the deal is
We aren’t supposed to discuss things
That are overtly flirtatious or suggestive;
That could lead to the aforementioned developments.
It is no longer permitted on the agenda.
I won’t be discussing it with anyone,
It’s one for me, and me only.
*
I think we both know which option I was referring to Miss A.
*
The right thing is always the hardest thing,
Often the opposite of what you want.
Nothing is ever simple.
She’s inside his head,
She’s got inside his head.
G-Star
How can I cure you?
I’m beginning to follow…
I’m going to have to get out there,
And find some butterflies for you;
Glittering; turquoise; indigo; gold.
I’ll try my very best with the butterfly
- hold on –
Wouldn’t I harm it?
If I was to catch it?
Can I just say something?
Before I take it back
And dare breathe a word
I would die.
You’ve given me enough
Butterflies already,
You really don’t need to give me anymore,
Even if they’re magical or glittery.
Plus you might do more damage
Trying to catch one for me.
This is between you and me,
I promise!
And that’s a promise I will keep!
No more butterflies.
I’m stumped:
In my mind the only two options,
For me to make them go away:
Ignorance is bliss;
One or two steps further from;…
Unfortunately for the butterflies,
Neither of these are currently options.
I’m not going to lie,
There’s part of me,
That would like one,
To happen,
But
It’s not the right thing to do,
And it wouldn’t be fair all round.
Still being patient,
Will be for a long time.
GT
Seeing as I promised,
Heart of an imperfect angel,
There is some definite overlap
Not actually sure why
I’m telling you all this?
…but a promise is a promise!
Melt in your mouth type.
Miss A
I like that, I like that a lot
You say, speaking in riddles,
For most of the day.
Edging on the dangerous,
Tip-toeing on egg shell
Online chalk lines.
But you remain inbetween,
Safe, stay.
You remain in tact.
Wearing your mask,
Not really giving yourself
Away.
Lucky number 4,
I promise tomorrow
And tomorrow and tomorrow
How about you promise me something today?
Holding your gaze.
Sipping dune bugs,
Slipping cubes of ice,
Falling by the way.
Unbuttoned buttons,
I drown in your eyes,
You give me butterflies
I want to say.
But you just flirt, and play.
Keeping your distance.
But you can’t / won’t / don’t
Read between the lines.
My question;
My reflection;
My conviction;
My affliction;
It’s just good chat Miss A.
