I feel like I’m pregnant, so bloated and fat

Every part of my body is tender and boys can’t understand that

PMT they use for any excuse to take the piss

Unbeknowing to the truth; just because they’re rejected from a kiss

PMT occurs before the female ‘comes on’

Or for you dopes, before we start to bleed and no longer want to be turned on

My stomach aches with a relentless paralysing pain

I wish I could cut the whole menstrual system out of me: it drives me insane

I don’t even want to have kids yet and I don’t even have sex

So what is the use of having periods?  Some kind of test?

Sticky icky blood, sometimes not even red

Blotchy cotchy clots from the uterus led

An unfertilised egg sitting dead on the towel

It used to carry genes but now smells so foul

What a life: being a girl

Unwanted protection: wanting the world

Lying on my stomach still feeling the hurt

Of Brazil losing three nil in the World Bloody Cup

Feeling so cold, nothing is warm

Please don’t touch me, stay out of my dorm

Anticipating another week of bleeding away

I’ve found another meaning for ‘Bloody Sunday’

So don’t come near me: people leave me alone

I’ll kill you with my moodiness and my moans –

Ouch, my stomach keeps beating my insides with hate

Because the Y chromosome decided my sex and called it fate

Trying to find the heat, deciding I need the loo

Hurting my swollen body, I don’t know what to do:

Lie down, on my back or my front or sit up

Nothing is comfortable, waiting for the clump

Boys boys boys, you simply cannot comprehend

Flowers, charm and niceness don’t bring periods to an end

My stomach is wrenching, I really can’t explain

The weather makes it worse with the cold and the rain

In the middle of July meaning to be summer’s hottest days

And I’m on my period – joy – trying to ignore my insides are ablaze

With pain pretending I feel nothing and everything is cool

When all I want is to be floating in some swimming pool

Or in a bubble bath, or Jacuzzi: wow

So I’ll go to sleep and dream.  Ow.

Itching bloody p***y: pubic bloody hair

 I wish I was eight when I hadn’t anything anywhere!