Your eyes and voice

Promised me a world

Of hope and dreams.

Finally, I thought you

Were here.  That I’d arrived.

Mutual understanding.

In my head

You’re smiling at me.

I hate you.

Your flowers smell of death,

Aftershave hides her perfume.

Your voice is encapsulated

In a private joke

Of which I have no part.

I do not require excuses

Justification is certainly

Not permitted

As an exit strategy.

You can’t keep me up

All hours of the night,

Yet here I am. 

Waiting.

I’m a joke.

The importance of company

Prioritisation

I am not prioritised

Who am I after all?

What’s in a grand gesture,

In your words of feigned love

When all that I asked was

 Your time?

Yet your watery eyes, trembling lips,

And your voice mirror what’s deep inside.

Why are you shaking?

I:

Promised myself I wouldn’t fall for you,

So how stupid am I, now that we’re here?

My tears fall because I can’t be her.

Can only be me, and I am unsure, I don’t know

If, me by myself, if I’m enough for you.

A lesser love is not fair by the rules.

You:

Erased memories, as though they never existed,

Five years wiped clean, you replace everything

With your smile on my hand.

Sing me lyrics, in black and white,

Translating, transforming love into life

You hide behind your mask.

Advice:

You will never let go, emotionally

If you keep her secretly in your heart’s mind,

Reminiscing – but it just wasn’t fated honey.

Love based on a lie, is not to die for.

Even if it made you so happy for a sweet while.

She lied to you, though you remain friends.

Control techniques, defence mechanisms,

Keeping your fragile heart under wraps,

But your open arms are inviting me in.

Torturing yourself for her mistakes,

But who am I to care?

Just some girl, right?

Disembodied

State of mind,

Over my head,

Just too blind

To see through

You.

I am stunned,

So misaligned,

The mood I’m in

I couldn’t care,

You could tell me

She was so rare,

So precious, so

Virtuous and

Perfect,

I would tell you

Then go back there

 The mood I’m in

He’s such a darling sweetheart

Of course he will buy you presents

He always comes ready with a

Bunch of flowers and an innocent kiss

Gives me spending money

For my holiday in Paris.

Spends money, buys me

Countless gifts, because

I am his.

Stupid girl.

You are refusing him satisfaction

In lust, so he presents you with

Objects of his affection

As substitution

– for the tool he is –

For that which he wishes

To ravish you

With.

He’s played innocent and guilty,

Blinded lucky number seven,

To my knowledge – he likes the exclusive.

Burns his wrist to prove his love

God only knows his next trick.

Blue diamonds in

Your hand, you accept.

And then he is

Elusive.

Stupid girl.

You will believe him, his charm,

Fall into his smile and drown

In his hands when he touches your

Cheek.  Poppy-eyed in the millions

Of happy wishful pipe-dreams.

Flipside, realside, hand to mouth

Pennies, living like a dog.

Hungry.

Convoluted, misinformed,

Betrayed betrothals already exist.

Counterfeit promises and explanations

You would repulse in shock,

He won’t give up until you give in

He will twist your mind and persist.

But if only you knew his

Heart of rot, if only you could

 Resist.

Take my hand,

Take my mind,

Lead you somewhere,

Follow me blind.

Take my heart,

Take my soul,

Help you forget,

And be in control.

Take my words,

Take my voice,

Think of nothing,

You always have choice.

Let go of your heart,

Release what you feel,

As long as what you feel,

Is truly real.

Will you stay in my eyes?

Remain in my life?

Will your arms, protect

Me from the world?

Will my love, save you

From the cold?

Will you ever be restless,

And want to be gone?

Only you have the answers

Because I have none.

Looking at me how you do,

I just want to take away your pain.

I won’t break your heart,

Time and again.

Always, as long as you will

Have me I want to stay,

So smile your beautiful smile,

 And have an amazing rest of your birthday.

Friendships aren’t made,

They are destined,

Two people intertwined.

If the friendship is deep,

It turns into love

And a life partner

You will find.

When I first met you

I thought the S in your heart

On your arm would

One day be for me.

Intrigued by the crescent

And the moon in your blood

On your hand, wondering

One day, will it be for me.

Here you are now,

Smiling away in my

Embrace, kissing

My neck, my lips, my face.

It’s funny how things

 Work out.

Glitter studded

Dusted eyelids

Ebony beyond

Compare.

Thick black lashes

Long and lush

Through which

Honey eyes

Stare.

Chiselled stubbled

G-star jawline

Strong enough

To care.

Defined limited

Edition cheekbones

Smiling beyond

 Despair.

Flew down the motorway

Eight o’clock at night

Just to spend fifteen

Minutes with you

Because it felt right.

Missed you that much

Spent so many hours

On the phone

Longing just to touch you

In moments alone.

I fell for you so hard

I do not even know how

You clenched my heart

And stole my smile

 But I’m moving on now.

Sitar basslines

And strings,

Heartbreak

In his voice sings

Out loud

And strikes

A chord

In the

Passenger

Seat.

You drive,

Glancing

At me,

And you smile

Sweet

With all the love,

Your eyes

Greet

Me with

Expressions

Of protection.

Listening to

The beat

Blazing in

The heat,

Breathing relaxed

And deep.

Reaching for

My hand,

Your lips

Kiss my wrist.

You are an

Addiction,

Like a drug,

Trapped

In the vortex

Of absent

Inhibition,

You used to

Set me free

And now you

Use the

Same words

And gentility

With her,

That you

Used

To use

With

Me.

Butterflies in my chest

And my heart,

Not palpitations.

A connection,

Distances apart.

You make me smile,

In the same breath

You kill my dreams,

Relegating my life

To make-believe.

Impatient waiting

Games, you play

Me for a fool,

Like a child lost

In a maze.

Ten minutes,

Twenty minutes,

Half an hour.

An hour.

It’s not even funny.

You’d be there

In a millisecond

If I was going to

Make you some

 Money.