unwords, unthoughts, unreason, unrhyme & unpoetry
caterpillars, cocoons & butterfliesArchive for anger
Reason or Rhyme?
Absence makes the heart grow sicker
Oxygen sucked through dry lips
Cracked, agitated, volatile,
Alone.
Angry tempers pursued in a rush
Crystal spiders on windscreens
Scratches, cuts, grazes
Reparation.
Arrival / Departure
Your eyes and voice
Promised me a world
Of hope and dreams.
Finally, I thought you
Were here. That I’d arrived.
Mutual understanding.
In my head
You’re smiling at me.
I hate you.
Your flowers smell of death,
Aftershave hides her perfume.
Your voice is encapsulated
In a private joke
Of which I have no part.
I do not require excuses
Justification is certainly
Not permitted
As an exit strategy.
You can’t keep me up
All hours of the night,
Yet here I am.
Waiting.
I’m a joke.
The importance of company
Prioritisation
I am not prioritised
Who am I after all?
What’s in a grand gesture,
In your words of feigned love
When all that I asked was
Your time?
Temper
Disembodied
State of mind,
Over my head,
Just too blind
To see through
You.
I am stunned,
So misaligned,
The mood I’m in
I couldn’t care,
You could tell me
She was so rare,
So precious, so
Virtuous and
Perfect,
I would tell you
Then go back there
The mood I’m in
Stupid Girl
He’s such a darling sweetheart
Of course he will buy you presents
He always comes ready with a
Bunch of flowers and an innocent kiss
Gives me spending money
For my holiday in Paris.
Spends money, buys me
Countless gifts, because
I am his.
Stupid girl.
You are refusing him satisfaction
In lust, so he presents you with
Objects of his affection
As substitution
– for the tool he is –
For that which he wishes
To ravish you
With.
He’s played innocent and guilty,
Blinded lucky number seven,
To my knowledge – he likes the exclusive.
Burns his wrist to prove his love
God only knows his next trick.
Blue diamonds in
Your hand, you accept.
And then he is
Elusive.
Stupid girl.
You will believe him, his charm,
Fall into his smile and drown
In his hands when he touches your
Cheek. Poppy-eyed in the millions
Of happy wishful pipe-dreams.
Flipside, realside, hand to mouth
Pennies, living like a dog.
Hungry.
Convoluted, misinformed,
Betrayed betrothals already exist.
Counterfeit promises and explanations
You would repulse in shock,
He won’t give up until you give in
He will twist your mind and persist.
But if only you knew his
Heart of rot, if only you could
Resist.
Girlfriend
Now she knows
You’re married
And still she stays,
What a joke.
I pity your wife
And girlfriend,
Sealed behind
A screen of
smoke.
Spending ‘p’
X amount of grands
A day.
Chauffeuring
Bentleys,
As if I don’t know,
I’m not begging
You to
Stay.
I’m breaking
Free from you
I’ve heard, I know
Your lies,
Twisted words,
I’m stronger
than you
And your
Life.
Stupidity,
Blindness,
Has reigned
Too long.
Five years
Too soon,
Too late.
Love turned
To hate.
Acupuncture
Scribbled post it notes
Under the eyes
Of the unwatching,
Inaccessible digits,
Disdained expressions,
Hopelessness in your voice,
Smiling through pain.
Your words calm me,
Pierce my brain
Like needles,
Tempted to believe
In your essence.
Nocternal phonecalls
Under the ears
Of the unhearing.
Craving his closeness
And grinning face
In the light
Of his eyes
Before me.
He tells me secrets
About you and that
You were perpetuating
Yet another lie.
Anguish accumulates
You are not
Worth these tears
I cry.
You are not
Worth these tears
I cry.
Point of No Return
To the point of no return
I invest myself in you
Will the reward be just
Enough for both us two?
Minds and beliefs
Separated, segregated
Can’t they combine?
Nothing has even happened
Blind leading the blind.
Offering me chocolate caramel
You kill me with sweet
And sour words
All I want is happiness
Don’t I deserve some kind?
Dream after dream
A sliced peace of mind.
Brown white speckles
Dimples and freckles
Your tapered needs
Hold more importance
Than the peace of my sleep.
Note 19
My eyes are tired
Not through crying
But from a migraine
That hurts my brain
You keep me up
Because you are out
I sleep disconnected
Until you tell me
You are safe.
I have a tendency to get caught up and lost in the world, still trying to discover what my gift is and how to use it. I write either when I'm deliriously happy (right now it's magic and butterflies though that is changing on a daily basis) or depressingly upset, so it's one extreme or the other, never a happy balance or medium. I love imagery and try and capture what I see in my mind's eye but sometimes I just don't have the words...I hope you enjoy reading, please tell me what you think!
