I’d like a little peace, I’d like a little noise

I wanna get wrecked and hang with the boys

I wanna get out, I wanna be me

To live or die, to be or not to be?

  

I wanna have some fun, I wanna be with my bloke

Spinning in an endless circle of cigarette smoke

I wanna be dancing, out of my head

Maybe I should try drugs for that extra buzz instead?

Play the music low, play the music loud,

My head is stuck in the smoggy black cloud

The hate is building up, the anger’s getting worse

I wanna be driven to hell in the back of a hurst 

I wanna be dead, I don’t want to be alive

Because all I do is get depressed and cry out my eyes

Until I’m blinded by the light, I wanna starve myself to death

I wanna try everything, to take my last breath

I wanna get stoned, I wanna be high

Smoke everything to hell and back, learn how to fly

I wanna be happy, I really need to smile

I wanna be killed, I wanna die in style.

I wanna do what I want: however, whenever, whatever

I wanna be alone, I want us to be together

I’m aching for his touch and the warmth of his hand

But no-one knows how much, no-one understands.

  

I want nothing, I want it all, I want it now

I’m a bomb waiting to explode into a full blown row

I want the taste of freedom, the freedom of life

I want to blow my head off, cut my heart out with a knife,

To live or die, to be or not to be?

Sleep perchance to dream, nothing is free.

 

Crazy days, crazy lady and nothing is right,

I mess everything up try as hard as I might.

The night rolls in, the thunderclouds are angry and set,

And I’m caught, trapped by the wonderful mesh of life’s fishing net.

The taste of smoke, the smell of nicotine,

I wish I was a junky trying to be clean,

I wish I was a complete, hopeless utter wreck

So I could have an excuse for the noose tight around my neck.

My silver is gold, my love is innocent and white

My skin is brown, night after night,

I wish I wasn’t who I am I wish I wasn’t me

To live or die, to be or not to be?

 

Opposites attract me, sin is my temptation,

I wanna live out pictures in my imagination

Why do I bother?  Why do I care?

I should be me, let them all stare

Be who I am, be who I like

I wish I could runaway, cycle off on my bike,

Drive away my car, wait in the middle of the road

Wait for the truck.  Wait to explode.

  

The men in black are careful, invisible they remain

I wish the men in white would come and take me away.

 

I’m tired of working, waiting, tired of this game,

I want someone I can love forever and someone else to blame.

Sleepless night after sleepless night, the stars drown in the dark,

Broken hearts don’t heal, and they don’t leave any visible marks,

And thoughts are not thought out-loud, because they’re written in the wind,

Whispered words like prayers: Forgive me Lord, for I have sinned.

From early days of childhood to endless nights of old age,

Emotions of anger swirling inside forming a maddening rage,

Release the pain, unload the mind,

It’s time to be, cruel to be kind.

 

Words of advice and loyalty and empathy and understanding

But they don’t ease the situation and life’s bumpy landing,

Words aren’t enough to cure the hidden depression

Living in an enclosed sheltered world and life of repression.

People I love – loved, turning their backs on me,

To live or die, to be or not to be?

 

Betrayal, mistrust, where is that infallible support and love?

Paranoia, absent self-esteem, and tears.  Is there a God above?

Religion is a subject, no longer a faith in my heart

Feeling like life will be same-ish until the day I depart.

If such things as spirit, soul, hope and happiness exist

Why must feelings of loneliness, sadness, anger and monotony persist?

The feeling that I’m standing still, going backwards, going nowhere.

And no-one knows whilst everyone makes it unfair,

Making home my prison, enforcing so many regulations and rules

Which is why I need to get away, stop playing the fool;

To build a new life, just to be me

To live or die, to be or not to be?

 

Institutions, politics, economics, moralists; adults everywhere alike

Give lessons in everything but that of real life,

Solving problems of the mind, they just haven’t got a clue

Which leaves me here, not knowing what to do;

So I wander alone; rejected; and confused.

Abandoned by loved ones, left alone to be abused

And no-one knows, understands, they wouldn’t hazard a guess

That this is what I feel like, so much pain, hurt and distress.

 

Putting on an act, putting on a front

Wondering how much longer, I can possibly keep this up?

Wanting to cry presently trying to enjoy the ringing laughter

Saving all the tears, saving all the drama for after

When I’m at home, alone with the music playing low

Or in complete silence in the darkness letting myself go

But the sobbing’s not permitted, someone will hear me cry

Wanting to die

I must be quiet, so my body convulses and shakes instead

And the bond of maternity can’t even see my tears as I’m lying in my bed.

I want to be unborn, just want to escape

Unable to find my brave crusader tighted and caped

To free me from my mind, my soul, my spirit, my body

To live or die, to be or not to be?

 

Never hold back my darling, secrets and worries eat away inside

Don’t ever pretend to me, please don’t ever disguise

Your emotions because know that I will never walk away

I’m here for you now, every tomorrow and each yesterday.

Believe in faith, trust instinct and respect honesty

To live or die, to be or not to be?

 

Uncertain of the future’s entity, what does it hold?

The strength of your love is true and that is my gold.

Dangerous appointments to the doctors needing to be arranged

Will I ever be in love enough to be engaged?

Dangerous flight arrangements to be scheduled and organised

Knowing the hurt is killing me and it has to be covered with lies.

Dangerous friendships turning into something so much more

And no amount of love and care from friends will find me the cure.

Always in a predicament and it sometimes involves

My love, be whoever he may be, but it’s never resolved

Past and present love, old love and new

There is no difference in our affections, the payment is never due

Because where can it lead?  Where can it possibly go?

No longer wanting to Let It Be or to Go With The Flow

Over and over, thought after constant thought, wishes and dreams;

The following is what it all leads back to, however it may seem:

 

You’re always on my mind, daydreams of whatever

Wondering how much longer we will be together

Truth be known, I always want you there

And this whole situation is just so damn unfair.

I’m lost for words when I’m with you, I really don’t know why

Everything on the downlow, living an outright and blatant lie

Endless moments I wish for, perfect frames of time

Can I keep you forever?  Will you promise to always be mine?

Why do you ignore me?  What have I done?  Why don’t you care?

We had such a close friendship and now we’re at nowhere

Such strong emotions, they won’t leave me alone

Memories of pathways, built in sunshine with pebbles and stones.

The dawn you held me, the night you cried

The night my trust in you, by the fire died.

 

Life is full of chance, but there are so many closed doors

And still if you want me, I will always be yours.

Trust me please, believe what I say

I’ll love you tomorrow, and each and every other day.

But how can this work, how can it be?

To live or die, to be or not to be?