unwords, unthoughts, unreason, unrhyme & unpoetry
caterpillars, cocoons & butterfliesArchive for poem
Confusion
sometimes boy, sometimes man
(mostly boy!)
object throwing
strictly forbidden!
RE paragraph 2 –
G-Star is properly confused
clear blue sky –
if you look hard enough
you will be able to see
another star up there for
me
what am i thinking?
(butterflies)
good question…
Consultation
“An open mind,
Attitude and awareness,
Straightforward, honest chat.”
…from a boy?? Sorry, man.
That would be miraculous.
“I’m always straightforward.”
As straight as a broken arrow…
Rabbit Hole
Speeding, accelerating into oblivion,
I scream, and in the darkness
My voice is suffocating
And I can’t breathe,
The air is stifling
And the ferocious warmth
Dries my eyes,
Lids close tight shut.
He hollers for me after dusk,
Menacing, stock of mean tenderness,
Leans back and gives me control,
Closing his eyes, imagining.
Gripping me with vulnerability
And his concept of love
Which leaves me paralysed
And blind.
He smiles and I drown in sorrow
For all of the memories.
He promises to straighten out.
Persuasion for moving moments.
He promises heaven,
But delivers me daily hell.
He is not mine to suffer
The nightmares alone.
Wonder if he knows, now
My heart beats for only me.
*
He catches me on Mondays
Like a star, temporary and constant.
A new diamond, a new sky
Like a butterfly, trapped and free,
Flitting between pollen types
And numb telephone signals.
Hiding behind giant chairs,
Typing his speak to me.
He smiles and I drown in his eyes.
When he blinks, I breathe.
Specks of introspection,
Keeps his thoughts to himself.
Setting out boundaries
We want to break,
Keeping a distance
That keeps us apart.
In love with a boy,
Twenty metres away.
Lids, gently open.
Tears, wet my eyes.
And the succumbing heat
Brings me peace,
I’m breathing,
My voice is speaking,
Speeding, accelerating
Into the first day of,
The rest of my life.
Last Night
You’re a star.
Like a comet or one that stays in the sky forever?
One that stays in the sky forever?
It was a trick question;
Shooting star; fleeting; temporary;
Catch her like a butterfly.
Forever star; unobtainable, far;
Shines bright against cobalt clouds;
That makes for the sparkle.
Is this why women are complicated?
*
You had a question for me when we were in the car,
But then as usual you decided not to share.
True as my words, I remember the question,
But true to form, I won’t ask the question.
I can’t share with you.
Why are you not allowed to share?
I don’t remember there being any rules?
Rules are magic and appear only for you, apparently.
Secrets, secrets, secrets, frustrating.
Tease! What sweet would I get in return for a secret?
My lips are sealed.
Such a picture of innocence.
I’ll tell you in maybe ten hundred days.
Patience of a saint?
Please, please, pretty please?
You’ve proved me right by your wrongs
So many times, I know it’s not coming,
So there is no need for you to pretend.
If your words, were ever
An incentive to prove you wrong…
*
The rules were not broken,
No need to forgive you,
There’s nothing to forgive.
And that to-do list will stay
In the back of my mind.
*
It’s getting serious; the deal is
We aren’t supposed to discuss things
That are overtly flirtatious or suggestive;
That could lead to the aforementioned developments.
It is no longer permitted on the agenda.
I won’t be discussing it with anyone,
It’s one for me, and me only.
*
I think we both know which option I was referring to Miss A.
*
The right thing is always the hardest thing,
Often the opposite of what you want.
Nothing is ever simple.
She’s inside his head,
She’s got inside his head.
Miss A
I like that, I like that a lot
You say, speaking in riddles,
For most of the day.
Edging on the dangerous,
Tip-toeing on egg shell
Online chalk lines.
But you remain inbetween,
Safe, stay.
You remain in tact.
Wearing your mask,
Not really giving yourself
Away.
Lucky number 4,
I promise tomorrow
And tomorrow and tomorrow
How about you promise me something today?
Holding your gaze.
Sipping dune bugs,
Slipping cubes of ice,
Falling by the way.
Unbuttoned buttons,
I drown in your eyes,
You give me butterflies
I want to say.
But you just flirt, and play.
Keeping your distance.
But you can’t / won’t / don’t
Read between the lines.
My question;
My reflection;
My conviction;
My affliction;
It’s just good chat Miss A.
Circles of Misfortune
Lost souls
Wandering beneath
Stark white noise
Ribbons of time,
Breakdown ensues
Foregoing dreams
Sullied purity
Blurred, mushed hope
Fading into the harsh
Stench of reality,
Black satin rose.
Sickened negatives,
Displaced emotion.
Twin hearts secluded,
Now and then
Circles of misfortune
Misconceptual lust
Trapped in a soothing
Effortless kiss
Paralysing time
In the palm of my hand
Frozen snowflake, thawing,
Melting into
A dry framework
Of complex thought
Fateless disposition
Weightless inhibition
Pretend proposition
Lost souls
Wandering beneath
Lonely skies.
Period Pains
I feel like I’m pregnant, so bloated and fat
Every part of my body is tender and boys can’t understand that
PMT they use for any excuse to take the piss
Unbeknowing to the truth; just because they’re rejected from a kiss
PMT occurs before the female ‘comes on’
Or for you dopes, before we start to bleed and no longer want to be turned on
My stomach aches with a relentless paralysing pain
I wish I could cut the whole menstrual system out of me: it drives me insane
I don’t even want to have kids yet and I don’t even have sex
So what is the use of having periods? Some kind of test?
Sticky icky blood, sometimes not even red
Blotchy cotchy clots from the uterus led
An unfertilised egg sitting dead on the towel
It used to carry genes but now smells so foul
What a life: being a girl
Unwanted protection: wanting the world
Lying on my stomach still feeling the hurt
Of Brazil losing three nil in the World Bloody Cup
Feeling so cold, nothing is warm
Please don’t touch me, stay out of my dorm
Anticipating another week of bleeding away
I’ve found another meaning for ‘Bloody Sunday’
So don’t come near me: people leave me alone
I’ll kill you with my moodiness and my moans –
Ouch, my stomach keeps beating my insides with hate
Because the Y chromosome decided my sex and called it fate
Trying to find the heat, deciding I need the loo
Hurting my swollen body, I don’t know what to do:
Lie down, on my back or my front or sit up
Nothing is comfortable, waiting for the clump
Boys boys boys, you simply cannot comprehend
Flowers, charm and niceness don’t bring periods to an end
My stomach is wrenching, I really can’t explain
The weather makes it worse with the cold and the rain
In the middle of July meaning to be summer’s hottest days
And I’m on my period – joy – trying to ignore my insides are ablaze
With pain pretending I feel nothing and everything is cool
When all I want is to be floating in some swimming pool
Or in a bubble bath, or Jacuzzi: wow
So I’ll go to sleep and dream. Ow.
Itching bloody *****: pubic bloody hair
I wish I was eight when I hadn’t anything anywhere!
I have a tendency to get caught up and lost in the world, still trying to discover what my gift is and how to use it. I write either when I'm deliriously happy (right now it's magic and butterflies though that is changing on a daily basis) or depressingly upset, so it's one extreme or the other, never a happy balance or medium. I love imagery and try and capture what I see in my mind's eye but sometimes I just don't have the words...I hope you enjoy reading, please tell me what you think!
