unwords, unthoughts, unreason, unrhyme & unpoetry
caterpillars, cocoons & butterfliesArchive for soul destroying
Just some girl
August 9, 2009 at 11:42 · Filed under Gifted (2009) and tagged: confused, depression, doubt, feeling, happiness, hope, lies, life, loneliness, love, pain, poetry, sadness, soul destroying, thought, uncertainty, writing
Yet your watery eyes, trembling lips,
And your voice mirror what’s deep inside.
Why are you shaking?
I:
Promised myself I wouldn’t fall for you,
So how stupid am I, now that we’re here?
My tears fall because I can’t be her.
Can only be me, and I am unsure, I don’t know
If, me by myself, if I’m enough for you.
A lesser love is not fair by the rules.
You:
Erased memories, as though they never existed,
Five years wiped clean, you replace everything
With your smile on my hand.
Sing me lyrics, in black and white,
Translating, transforming love into life
You hide behind your mask.
Advice:
You will never let go, emotionally
If you keep her secretly in your heart’s mind,
Reminiscing – but it just wasn’t fated honey.
Love based on a lie, is not to die for.
Even if it made you so happy for a sweet while.
She lied to you, though you remain friends.
Control techniques, defence mechanisms,
Keeping your fragile heart under wraps,
But your open arms are inviting me in.
Torturing yourself for her mistakes,
But who am I to care?
Just some girl, right?
Liar
July 28, 2009 at 18:48 · Filed under Diary of a Luna.............tic and tagged: confused, doubt, feeling, hurt, insanity, lies, love, lunatic, madness, pain, poetry, sadness, soul destroying, thought, truth, uncertainty, unlove, writing
How is it possible for you to be so fake?
To smile and hold my hand, tuck my hair away
To look into my eyes and blatantly lie?
How can you do that?
Telling me you’ve never felt so calm and at peace
That all your worries disappear with your sleep
Now that you are back on your feet
With the pea coming in to your pockets so fresh
How can you plead for my love, plead for me
To stay and lie through your teeth?
You tell me that you know how much you have hurt me
What you have done, how you don’t deserve me
You’re right, that’s why I am leaving.
Suddenly, after two months you are dying
It’s funny how you call me beautiful
When the mortgage is due this week
Funny how you’ve been happy to
Pretend I don’t exist since June
Funny how you didn’t screw over
Less what I gave
Lucky I gave you any at all.
You’ve lost me for good, baby.
And it’s all your fault.
Note 18
July 26, 2009 at 10:49 · Filed under Notes and tagged: anger, confused, depression, feeling, freedom, hurt, life, loneliness, love, poetry, reality, sadness, soul destroying, thought, writing
Raindrops floating on my skin
Dull, grey, lifelessness focuses within
Reducing the room for conscience
Jeopardising the freedom of my soul.
Distance ever stretching out,
Realisation and truth
You were not the silver lining
I was thinking about.
Note 17
July 26, 2009 at 10:41 · Filed under Notes and tagged: anger, confused, depression, feeling, freedom, hope, hurt, life, loneliness, love, poetry, reality, sadness, soul destroying, thought, writing
Your fumes poison my senses
You steal my soul, fusing tenses,
Memories mingle with what could be
You open my blind eyes and make me see
I am wasting.
Caterpillar
June 15, 2009 at 23:06 · Filed under Gifted (2009) and tagged: anger, butterfly, caterpillar, confused, fate, freedom, graphic, happiness, healing, hope, hurt, life, love, moth, nettles, poetry, roses, sadness, soul destroying, sting, thought, writing
I am
bound
to your
fate,
like
a moth
to
a flame.
Mind empty;
over
flowing;
sedate,
with
blame.
Can’t
live
with,
or
without
you.
White
scented
roses
fresh,
soft,
like
morning
dew.
Crisp,
cold,
against
the skin,
love
wrapped
up in
Stinging
nettles.
sharp,
spiked,
thorny
stems,
Antiseptic
soaked
cotton
wool
hurting
my
head.
Healing.
Not Even An Angel
November 5, 2008 at 23:34 · Filed under Splinters (2008) and tagged: angel, devil, hurt, poetry, soul destroying, unlove, writing
Devil invites me inside
His turquoise chocolate house
Guides me by the hand
And lays me down without
A blink, he smiles sweetly
I’m afraid but I trust him
Completely
Naively
He smells my satsuma skin
Tucking my hair behind my ear
Holding me close against him
Encouraging me to
Whisper, still smiling
On coffee leather chairs
Smooth velvet skin
Reveals
Devil runs his warm hands
Down my nervous naked spine
Shiver in my bones
Conscious of being shy
But I melt away
Baring my awkward body
Defenceless
Trusting
He breathes me inside of him
Intuition breaks my mood
There is something
Just not quite right
Hesitate
Can’t work it out
Pre-meditated
Attack
Devil tries to take my mind
Off the noise that startled
Me from the other side
It’s nothing
Just you and me
You
And
Me
Except intuition knows
I’m facing an ordeal
Never repeated to a human soul
Words do not escape
Do not form on my tongue
To even express
Broken
butterflies
I see two pairs of eyes
And then bodies bolt out
Of the strawberry jam door
Through my naked tears
Falling on to my naked
Trembling skin
I scream at the devil
I runaway
I gather my scattered
Shattered self
I’m crying
I’m screaming
I’m cursing
Cold
Black
Murder
Not even an angel
Can take that once
Sweet like chocolate
Cold stone heart
Of menacing
Violating
Humiliation
Away.
I have a tendency to get caught up and lost in the world, still trying to discover what my gift is and how to use it. I write either when I'm deliriously happy (right now it's magic and butterflies though that is changing on a daily basis) or depressingly upset, so it's one extreme or the other, never a happy balance or medium. I love imagery and try and capture what I see in my mind's eye but sometimes I just don't have the words...I hope you enjoy reading, please tell me what you think!
