Speeding, accelerating into oblivion,

I scream, and in the darkness

My voice is suffocating

And I can’t breathe,

The air is stifling

And the ferocious warmth

Dries my eyes,

Lids close tight shut.

He hollers for me after dusk,

Menacing, stock of mean tenderness,

Leans back and gives me control,

Closing his eyes, imagining.

Gripping me with vulnerability

And his concept of love

Which leaves me paralysed

And blind.

He smiles and I drown in sorrow

For all of the memories. 

He promises to straighten out.

Persuasion for moving moments.

He promises heaven,

But delivers me daily hell.

He is not mine to suffer

The nightmares alone.

Wonder if he knows, now

My heart beats for only me.

*

He catches me on Mondays

Like a star, temporary and constant.

A new diamond, a new sky

Like a butterfly, trapped and free,

Flitting between pollen types

And numb telephone signals.

Hiding behind giant chairs,

Typing his speak to me. 

He smiles and I drown in his eyes.

When he blinks, I breathe. 

Specks of introspection,

Keeps his thoughts to himself.

Setting out boundaries

We want to break,

Keeping a distance

That keeps us apart.

In love with a boy,

Twenty metres away. 

Lids, gently open.

Tears, wet my eyes.

And the succumbing heat

Brings me peace,

I’m breathing,

My voice is speaking,

Speeding, accelerating

Into the first day of,

The rest of my life.