unwords, unthoughts, unreason, unrhyme & unpoetry
caterpillars, cocoons & butterfliesArchive for story
Rebound
The sky falls down on me
As the asphyxiation
Suffocates my sense of
Self
Less is a quality
I deliver in
Equal measures
To that of
Commit
Meant that I would
No longer be alone
But I’m running scared
Facing facts
That I cannot
Be tied
Drown
In the eyes
of the one
I will lose
Myself to the
Wind
If I could.
Outrageous Flirtation
It really is gorgeous outside! I’ll come meet you for an ice-cream?! 5 mins?!
Yeah come on then, let’s!!
Will see you in 3 mins…
2mins…
30 seconds…
I’m here!!! And waiting…
<smiles> <friendship kiss on the cheek> Hi Jack, shall we go and get this ice cream then? (Are we in Paris or New York?)
<smiles back> <responds with friendship kiss on the cheek> Hello V, how lovely to see you, yes let’s go and I’ll get us some ice creams (in New York)
Great, at least Parisian eyes will not be upon us - since I don’t know New York very well, I will let you lead the way <looks up to Jack and smiles some more> (was that a typo or are you using my nickname already?!)
Was a typo – but I like the result, so V it is…<leisurely stroll along the canal side with ice creams in hand, sun shining> <’that’s a cute little number you’ve got on V’>
<ah you think? I think the neck’s a bit low so won’t stand so close to you since the giant sunflower you are might just be able to see stuff that shouldn’t be seen, I didn’t realise New York had canals I would never have thought, they’re much prettier than Parisian canals!!!> (Is this an all day thing or is it early lunch?)
There is a very nice canal through New York (it’s an early lunch that could potentially extend later into the afternoon….<with a smile “I do indeed V”>; Jack is thinking to himself ”Focus on the eyes, focus on the eyes!”
<Thanks for the ice-cream Jack, it took long enough to come, remind me next time to give you a time limit on any thing for which I may ask for <laughs cheekily>, so are you taking me for lunch as well - is this just the appetiser?> Valesha playfully nudges Jack’s face in the direction in which they are strolling so he doesn’t have to think about
focussing on her eyes, as it’s making her nervous but she doesn’t want Jack to know that it’s making her nervous>
Nervous in a good way or a bad way? – Jack doesn’t want to appear pervy in any way. <Lunch? What a nice idea, let’s head to the canal side restaurant…..lunch is on me> Jack looks straight ahead with a wry smile, not wanting to make V feel nervous, nor let his eyes wonder where they shouldn’t…
In a good way – <so what kind of food do they do, have you been there before?> heading in the direction of Jack’s suggested eatery, they arrive at the restaurant and are seated at an amazing table and perusing the menu, sat opposite each other <well I’m obviously not refusing a free lunch but I’ll get the next one, how does that sound?> (are you driving?)
No, Jack hasn’t been there before; it’s a new experience for both of them. Jack’s not driving, and asks for the wine list…
Jack orders the most perfect rose wine…Valesha looks at Jack with a question, but the words are stuck in her head. Jack continues to chat obliviously…
Jack enjoys the rose wine and secretly ponders what Valesha is thinking…”What’s on your mind Valesha?” he asks…
…taking a large sip of the wine, Valesha looks over to Jack and asks, “Why are you not single Jack?”…
Jack smiles and responds, ‘if I was single Valesha, I wouldn’t be looking much further than across this table’…
Valesha nearly chokes on the wine…
Jack, waits for Valesha to compose herself, and then asks, “Why are you so shocked?”…
Valesha responds quietly and intently, “Do you realise how much I actually really like you, how could you let things go so far but not actually, really, go anywhere at all?”
Jack wishes that he hadn’t said anything at all as it probably hasn’t helped the situation. He holds back from using the clichéd phrase, “You always want what you can’t have” instead responding, honestly, “I didn’t realise. I thought it was some flirtatious mutual respect and that is wasn’t much more than that?”
Valesha replies, that’s what she meant by the double edged sword responses, Jack’s just done it again with the refrainment of the cliché, and explains that’s why she has never asked the questions because she just couldn’t be sure…this is why boys are poo, Valesha is sad and thinks she’s made the situation worse…
Jack is deeply sorry that Valesha is sad, and apologises to her for being misleading when he shouldn’t have been. He tells her that she hasn’t made the situation worse and that everything can be just as it was. He realises that in future he should keep such things to himself and not act upon them, no matter how tricky it is. He reiterates that he still really likes Valesha, and that he hopes their relationship will still be a good and friendly one as it was before their lunch, but that it must stay as that…
Jack wasn’t being misleading when his thoughts were in the right place…Valesha’s just a nutcase and blushes and says feel free to act on them because they won’t now be taken in the way that they were not meant, if that makes sense. See there you go again, “ but that it must stay as that…” why would it be anything different? Listen though honey, it’s home time you can’t stay there forever, hope you have a fantastic time in Mauritius, see you Tuesday for the consultation.
Valesha’s not a nutcase at all – far from it! It wouldn’t be anything different I know…Jack just said that just because…Jack apologises again and wishes Valesha a fantastic weekend – friendly kiss on the cheek goodbye.
Question
Hidden smiles and ice-creams
Brain freeze and secret questions
Words unstuck in my head
Pausing.
Unable to continue.
Disguised as light humour.
Ah, you’re teasing.
Ask me one of the questions…
What would happen if…?
…I was to rise above your teasing tactics?
Clearly, you would not be able
As you enjoy being teased,
I have a better question:
What would happen if you and…
Please complete the question, must have been a typo
Love how you think its a typo I do apologise….
What would happen if you and your…
There must be a problem with your keyboard, please finish off the question, many thanks
Damn keyboard, What would happen if you and your self…
If me and myself…? What ever the end of that is
It won’t make sense will it?!
Of course it will make sense, it’s my question silly,
You just can’t think far enough ahead
Well help silly boy out then and stop teasing!
What would happen if you and your self were…
Me and my self were to…?
Find.
Find a / find out / finds something?
You realise this could go on for a while I could make it the longest question in the universe, you would never get to the “?”
What would happen if you and your self find yourself in a.
You are allowed a maximum of 5 more words!
“What would happen if you and your self find yourself in a…” compromising / hole / cupboard / tricky situation / gay bar / campervan…?
Just five…? No fair!
Five words is more than fair
What would happen if you and your self find yourself in a one two three four five
You don’t even have a question do you?
I do but I’m not telling you!
Come on – just one question?! Please!
How can you ask me that, you know very well what it might involve…
No I don’t – ah you’re such a tease!
I know honey but you can’t do anything about it…
Last Night
You’re a star.
Like a comet or one that stays in the sky forever?
One that stays in the sky forever?
It was a trick question;
Shooting star; fleeting; temporary;
Catch her like a butterfly.
Forever star; unobtainable, far;
Shines bright against cobalt clouds;
That makes for the sparkle.
Is this why women are complicated?
*
You had a question for me when we were in the car,
But then as usual you decided not to share.
True as my words, I remember the question,
But true to form, I won’t ask the question.
I can’t share with you.
Why are you not allowed to share?
I don’t remember there being any rules?
Rules are magic and appear only for you, apparently.
Secrets, secrets, secrets, frustrating.
Tease! What sweet would I get in return for a secret?
My lips are sealed.
Such a picture of innocence.
I’ll tell you in maybe ten hundred days.
Patience of a saint?
Please, please, pretty please?
You’ve proved me right by your wrongs
So many times, I know it’s not coming,
So there is no need for you to pretend.
If your words, were ever
An incentive to prove you wrong…
*
The rules were not broken,
No need to forgive you,
There’s nothing to forgive.
And that to-do list will stay
In the back of my mind.
*
It’s getting serious; the deal is
We aren’t supposed to discuss things
That are overtly flirtatious or suggestive;
That could lead to the aforementioned developments.
It is no longer permitted on the agenda.
I won’t be discussing it with anyone,
It’s one for me, and me only.
*
I think we both know which option I was referring to Miss A.
*
The right thing is always the hardest thing,
Often the opposite of what you want.
Nothing is ever simple.
She’s inside his head,
She’s got inside his head.
Journey
A dark haired stranger rode away from the desert land
Returning home to claim his destiny, the love he understands.
Tired from the journey through the hazardous blizzard of flakes
His heavy body leaned towards the bed for his dreams to make
He pulled the covers close, in the darkness he was blind
And the flickering shadows disappeared into his mind.
She sat combing her long dark curls, rocking in her chair
Drying her eyes, weeping for the love that was unfair
Glancing out of her window, numbed by the coldness of the snow
Wishing the ache away from her body that felt so tired and low
He lay as if asleep upon his pillow; crisp, fresh and soft
Dreams drifted into slumber as his present-life he forgot
Knowing his search had nearly come to an end
But would he find it easy, or his choices defend?
The logs on her fire burnt to cinders and ash, diminishing with the flames
While through so much time, she was claiming the blame
Wanting to be with her beloved, no longer with dishonour in her name
As she thought about the old photograph in the old leather frame
His dreams were deep, but he was startled and suddenly he was awake
And he wiped the cold beads of sweat from his forehead while he tried not to shake
Hoping he wasn’t too late;
Watching the moon through the window, glimmering on the lake.
Closing the door quietly, gracefully strolling into the calm of night
Her crystal slippers sunk deep into the delicate white
Bewitched by the magic of the moon’s beckoning light
Scared by the torment of her second-sight
Something kept him awake, his eyes would not sleep
Calling for destiny to come to him and speak
He re-lit his candle and set logs on his dying fire
The embers glowing orange, the flames slicking higher.
Her locks glittered with stars in the consuming gloom
Making her way towards the lake and the moon
Cautious for the silence of her steps in the snow
In the morning, her trace would be hidden and nobody would know
Noises in the dark outside, he became still and alert
As he slowly drew the gun from the underneath of his shirt
He heard the crunching of snow, once and then twice
The moon looked slowly on, he saw her in the light.
She paused at the edge. At the edge of frozen ice
The moon carefully clawed through the cloud in the sky
In the blink of an eye she was gone, was she his dream?
As the crystal slippers caught the light of a real moonbeam…
He ran to reach out and catch her, before she fell to the snow
Wishing he could have saved her years ago
He tried to rescue her from the freezing lake.
Too late.
Her hair became tangled, heavy and wet
She dreamed her dark-haired prince had called for help
She thought she had at last found heaven in his arms
She was calm.
Her beauty still stunned him, no word to explain
Her curls wrapped around her throat, again and again
His dark princess, beautiful forever
The touch of her skin, cold and soft like a feather
The kiss, like snow, gently falling to the ground
The bottom of the lake, he also found.
I have a tendency to get caught up and lost in the world, still trying to discover what my gift is and how to use it. I write either when I'm deliriously happy (right now it's magic and butterflies though that is changing on a daily basis) or depressingly upset, so it's one extreme or the other, never a happy balance or medium. I love imagery and try and capture what I see in my mind's eye but sometimes I just don't have the words...I hope you enjoy reading, please tell me what you think!
